Being MORE than just "Mommy"

It's hard to be more than just "Mommy"when you're a Stay-at-Home-Mom. When my daughter Ayla was born I tried to hang on to my identity as much as I could. As soon as I got my figure back, or something that resembled it, I tried to look as nice as I could no matter where I was going or what I was doing. I had my hair straightened, make-up on, clothes ironed and nice shoes. My daughter went practically everywhere I went but she had her bag and I had mine. My husband and I would go out to dinner, once in a while, alone. We would go out for drinks and dancing. We would hang out with friends. When Ayla was 3 I got her into Daycare 4 hours a day, 3 days a week so I could have some me time. So I could differentiate between the mommy me and the woman me. When my son Sagan was born all that went to hell in a hand basket! I was on the edge of a cliff hanging on by my finger nails! My mommy uniform was a pair a jeans (and usually not very nice ones), t-shirts(especially twilight t's-which my husband hated), ponytail, tennis shoes or flip-flops and usually no make-up. It's amazing that my husband didn't leave. My husband and I haven't been out alone no more then 3 or 4 times in 3 and a half years! I tried Daycare with Sagan but he wasn't having any of it. So, I finally said "NO MORE!".  I want to be a nice looking and engaging Wife, Friend, Woman and any other label other than mommy. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being a mother, but I have to be more than that. I have to find "Me" again! So I have gotten myself back on my work out regimen, which includes walking the dog for cardio and doing Pilates every other day. I am trying to dress nice no matter what the day has in store, a little make-up (it's been too long with out any I don't look like myself when I wear too much), hair straightened most days (still in ponytails sometimes with this horrible South Texas wind), and shoes other then tennies unless walking the dog. And now this Blog will hopefully help me go a little further in finding myself again.